Not everything works on our new website ------- nothing spent on the website = more time for world saving = quality thinking

Gauntlet Institute Private Investigations

Have you, your loved ones or political representatives lost any of their Marbles? Trust G.I.P.I to find them.

Lost Marble

In a time of Global crisis it is obvious Marble Seek-Find-&-Return is of the highest International importance.

Seeking high and low, far and wide, on land and under ocean, internationally and locally. G.I.P.I. are the only service returning your lost Marbles with care.

For a meagre price our Detecto-Scientists will find the long lost Marbles you need and return them to you.

marble Brain
Just £12 / 16$ to find someones Marbles!    Hire us today!

 Case Studies

Client Note   What do you get if you hire us?
Henrik Dahle (intoxicated)      
Henrik Intoxicated Two Marbles lost on his 30th birthday. Photograph taken on the morning after.

We gaurantee to find at least three of the Marbles you seek. The Marbles are delivered to your door in a special scientific glass container sealed with cork to prevent fermentation.

Details of find location and suspected cause of Marble Loss are hand written and signed by the Detecto-Scientist and are part of the package.

Exact details unknown. Moment Memory Fragments severely contaminated.     Bottle of Marbles
David Cameron's lost Marbles as discovered by G.I.P.I. Soon to be returned
Discovery status: Success!    

Details of find location and suspected cause of Marble Loss are hand written and signed by the Detecto-Scientist.

Marble Magnifier

David Cameron & Vladimir Putin (intoxicated with power)      
David and Vlad Three of UK Prime Minister David Cameron's Marbles discovered. Likely to have been lost during a vote in favour of the Iraq war.

Number of David Cameron's missing Marbles yet to be found: 66. 
Chit chatting about World domination    
Discovery status: Partial success    


Marble kit Further details of the Marble Loss issue, the science and politics are included.

A degree of Marble Loss is perfectly natural.
Human beings are never born with a full set of Marbles. Now it is widely known that further Marbles are lost as the specimin 'matures'.

Terry Gilliam    
  With a full set of Marbles there's no way Mr. Gilliam could have produced his acclaimed works of genius. We still found five essential Marbles he needed!
Discovery status: Success!        


Stress is the root cause of Marble loss (M.L.). In recent years M.L. has increased with the hegemony of powerful elites provoking unnecessary pressures. As the stress builds up, Marbles of the brain are literally washed away. 

Marbles can also be lost during an argument, during a great night out, when caught up with an addiction like gambling. 

Occasionally simple joy or by an Exuberant Idea Strike (EIS), is a cause of M.L. The sense of abandon and power of EIS frees the Marbles. In certain cases this can be beneficial. We call these Eureke Marbles.

We all know someone in need of their Marbles and you might have an idea where those Marbles were lost. For example: in the case of Henrik Dahle (above), - our detecto-scientists were given some indication of which city his Marbles may be found. This helps us to narrow down the search.

Further details may include any possible cause of Marbles being lost. In the case of Henrik Dahle, it was indicated he had partied hard and may have lost one or two Marbles in the process.

Send us an email with as much detail as possible about the Marbles you seek.



- Talking endlessly about inane and inconsequential things.
- Pursuing strange hobbies.
- Reading vacuous magazines and books.
- Self destructive habits.
- Ignoring climate change and biodiversity destruction.

The service costs £15 and includes

- Found Lost Marbles
- Scientific glass jar
- Special cork seal
- Hand written customised notes.
- Postage and packing.
Click to order
Coming soon
Marble world  

The glass-like Marbles are embedded with unique biological signatures within the chrystalised DNA. Moment-Memory Fragments (MMF) are still detectable, then scanned & deciphered.

Dilligent investigation of likely places of loss while deploying powerful refraction technology our team of expert detecto– scientists locate the precious Marbles and match them with the loser.

Alongside the domestic market, G.I.P.I. are strategically deploying our Marble know-how by investing special efforts towards the successful Marble return of climate change deniers, bigots, economists, World leaders etc. 

All our profits from Marble Detection is returned to the business of this scientific pro-activism.

Our goal is total marble return.


We are also working tirelessly to enable Marble re -implantation.

IMPORTANT:   We all need our Marbles back.
Marble Funnel     Not suitable for small children. Fragile bottle. Loose Marbles are a choking hazard.  

Detecto-Scientist Leanora Splintern examines David Cameron's Marbles. Marbles are then packaged
up and returned!

Marble close
      Closer Marble Closest Marble
      Closer   Closest


A whopping 10% of G.I. profit is funnelled into World saving NGO's

This is where incredible pseudo science and politics come to life!

Gauntlett Institute EarthGauntlett Institute EarthGauntlett Institute EarthGauntlett Institute EarthGauntlett Institute Earth
Gauntlett Institute