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Have you, your loved ones or political representatives lost any of their Marbles? Trust G.I.P.I to find them. | ||||||
In a time of Global crisis it is obvious Marble Seek-Find-&-Return is of the highest International importance.Seeking high and low, far and wide, on land and under ocean, internationally and locally. G.I.P.I. are the only service returning your lost Marbles with care.For a meagre price our Detecto-Scientists will find the long lost Marbles you need and return them to you. |
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Just £12 / 16$ to find someones Marbles! Hire us today! | ||||||
Case Studies |
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Client | Note | What do you get if you hire us? | ||||
Henrik Dahle (intoxicated) | ||||||
Two Marbles lost on his 30th birthday. Photograph taken on the morning after. | We gaurantee to find at least three of the Marbles you seek. The Marbles are delivered to your door in a special scientific glass container sealed with cork to prevent fermentation. Details of find location and suspected cause of Marble Loss are hand written and signed by the Detecto-Scientist and are part of the package. |
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Exact details unknown. Moment Memory Fragments severely contaminated. | David Cameron's lost Marbles as discovered by G.I.P.I. Soon to be returned |
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Discovery status: | Success! | Details of find location and suspected cause of Marble Loss are hand written and signed by the Detecto-Scientist. |
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David Cameron & Vladimir Putin (intoxicated with power) | ||||||
Three of UK Prime Minister David Cameron's Marbles discovered. Likely to have been lost during a vote in favour of the Iraq war. Number of David Cameron's missing Marbles yet to be found: 66. |
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Chit chatting about World domination | ||||||
Discovery status: | Partial success | |||||
EUREKA MARBLES! |
Further details of the Marble Loss issue, the science and politics are included. | |||||
A degree of Marble Loss is perfectly natural. |
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Terry Gilliam | ||||||
With a full set of Marbles there's no way Mr. Gilliam could have produced his acclaimed works of genius. We still found five essential Marbles he needed! | ||||||
Discovery status: | Success! | |||||
WHAT CAUSES MARBLE LOSS? | How to hire us? | |||||
Stress is the root cause of Marble loss (M.L.). In recent years M.L. has increased with the hegemony of powerful elites provoking unnecessary pressures. As the stress builds up, Marbles of the brain are literally washed away. Marbles can also be lost during an argument, during a great night out, when caught up with an addiction like gambling. Occasionally simple joy or by an Exuberant Idea Strike (EIS), is a cause of M.L. The sense of abandon and power of EIS frees the Marbles. In certain cases this can be beneficial. We call these Eureke Marbles. |
We all know someone in need of their Marbles and you might have an idea where those Marbles were lost. For example: in the case of Henrik Dahle (above), - our detecto-scientists were given some indication of which city his Marbles may be found. This helps us to narrow down the search. Further details may include any possible cause of Marbles being lost. In the case of Henrik Dahle, it was indicated he had partied hard and may have lost one or two Marbles in the process. |
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SYMPTOMS OF MARBLE LOSS: |
GET YOUR MARBLES BACK TODAY! | |||||
- Talking endlessly about inane and inconsequential things. |
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The service costs £15 and includes - Found Lost Marbles - Scientific glass jar - Special cork seal - Hand written customised notes. - Postage and packing. |
Click to order Coming soon |
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HOW ARE MARBLES FOUND? | WORLD MARBLE SEEK | |||||
The glass-like Marbles are embedded with unique biological signatures within the chrystalised DNA. Moment-Memory Fragments (MMF) are still detectable, then scanned & deciphered. Dilligent investigation of likely places of loss while deploying powerful refraction technology our team of expert detecto– scientists locate the precious Marbles and match them with the loser. |
Alongside the domestic market, G.I.P.I. are strategically deploying our Marble know-how by investing special efforts towards the successful Marble return of climate change deniers, bigots, economists, World leaders etc. All our profits from Marble Detection is returned to the business of this scientific pro-activism. Our goal is total marble return. |
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RESTORING LOST MARBLES TO THE BRAIN | ||||||
We are also working tirelessly to enable Marble re -implantation. |
IMPORTANT: | We all need our Marbles back. | ||||
Not suitable for small children. Fragile bottle. Loose Marbles are a choking hazard. | ||||||
Detecto-Scientist Leanora Splintern examines David Cameron's Marbles. Marbles are then
packaged |
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Close | ||||||
Closer | Closest | |||||
A whopping 10% of G.I. profit is funnelled into World saving NGO's |
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This is where incredible pseudo science and politics come to life! |
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